pixies_secret_agency_psafandomcom-20200216-history
User blog:Charlie the Penguin/Random Parodies: The Wonderful Wizard of Tras
This was something random I thought of and wrote in chat today. I am really sorry at the huge postponage of The Cake of Resistance, so here's a new random parody that almost reaches Charlie Skywalker and the Great Coming of Cheesy Tacos' level of randomness. And yes, I know that most people here are out of character. This story isn't supposed to make a lick of sense, and I hope to not offend anyone. ---- I shall now tell a wonderful story. A story about a wizard. Woah, wait a minute, why is this story named after the wizard, he's barely in this! Meh, whatever. I shall now tell you a story about a wizard. A wizard who is best known as the wonderful Wizard of Tras (seriously, who named this story??!! Oh wait it was me...). Once upon a time, there was a little pixie- I mean a little girl named Pixie. She was a penguin. She wore clothes, and had a face and hair on her head. Did I mention that she was a girl? Also, her voice sounded like Ariana Grande's singing voice. Pixie worked as a slave on a farm. She was a slave to Herbert P. Bear, a large censored who was always seen drinking something that was illegal to Club Penguin. She had a little puffle named Fluffle. Fluffle was a puffle. Did I mention that? Fluffle was always hungry, but had a particular interest in the taste of penguins. She never ate Pixie though, because she was wise enough to not bite the hand that fed her. Somehow, Herbert never managed to catch her in the act because Batman. One day, she couldn't find any penguins on the farm, she had eaten them all. With nothing to eat, Fluffle began to starve. Then she saw Herbert. With no other options, she walked casually over to Herbert, and ate his right leg right off of his body. "OH @#$%!" Herbert yelled, spilling his wine all over his pet crab, who fell dead. Herbert hopped over to the sheriff's office, bleeding leg socket in all, just in time to tell the police officer that Fluffle must be violently destroyed for her actions, right before he lost all of his blood and died. The police officer, a half-cat, half-human hybrid named Hailey, didn't give a crap about him, but she did enjoy violently destroying things. Hailey arrived at the farm and immediately saw Fluffle. She suddenly turned into a murderous anime character and lunged at her. Pixie, acting fast, ran in front of Hailey just in time and grabbed Fluffle away. Hailey said something in Japanese and called on a creepy-looking pokemon. The pokemon exploded and turned into a large tornado because meh, what ISN'T there a Pokemon for. Pixie screamed and ran into the lighthouse, which was conveniently right near by. The tornado turned into a large penguin because it did. The penguin's name was Helmet because it was. This all makes sense because it does. Helmet was feeling angry (his coke shipments were late), so he dumped the lighthouse in the sea. When Pixie woke up she was in a creepy world full of donuts, cake, plants, trains, coke, mutant penguins and retarded midgets. The lighthouse had fallen from the sky and killed the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, who had been annoying the midgets by trying to step on them. The midgets were then interrupted by Gary, a wizard who traveled around in a coffee bubble. Gary told Pixie that she was in the world of. Pixie didn't like the world of. She didn't understand the name, either. Gary told her that the world was ruled by the wonderful Wizard of Tras, who had the power to grant wishes and could take Pixie home. Pixie decided that the world of was better than Club Penguin and decided to stay there forever. Gary told her to do as he told her and get her butt home or he would pour hot coffee on her face. Fluffle walked over and popped Gary's coffee bubble, causing him to faint. Pixie decided that the world of was to retarded for her and decided to go home. The angry midgets told her to follow the white road. Pixie stepped onto the white road and realized that it was white because it was covered in donut glaze. The midgets realized that they had said wrong and told her that she actually needed to travel on the black concrete road that had yellow lines on it. Pixie stepped onto the black road and immediately got run over by a donut truck. When she respawned she told the retarded midgets to go @#$% themselves and started down the donut glazed road in a huff. Suddenly, another wizard appeared, this one named Charlie. Charlie was an evil wizard because he was an evil wizard. Charlie was mad at Pixie because he blamed her for killing the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, who had recently given him a free 50% coupon that he now couldn't use because he was dead. Pixie realized that the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's hat was now on Fluffle's head. Charlie realized that if he could get the hat, he could take over the marshmallow business and get rich because logic. He tried to take the hat off of Fluffle, but it was stuck to her because of the marshmallow goo. Charlie rage quit, but not before swearing to get that hat back. Pixie ventured on until she found herself in snowy area. There she met another penguin named Jay. Jay lived in a cave in a mountain. He told Pixie that if she ever entered his cave he would destroy her and puke on her grave. Fluffle proceeded to eat Jay's ice wand. Jay became enraged and tried to kill Fluffle. Pixie told Jay that she was going to see the wonderful Wizard of Tras and that if she came with him, he could wish for a new wand. Jay reluctantly agreed and ventured on with her. They soon came across a large dragon. Jay tried to kill it with his bare flippers, but it turned into a MLP. This made Jay want to kill it even more, but when it turned into a penguin, and he decided not to. The penguin/MLP/dragon's name was Gracie. She was tired of her three forms, and wished she could have a new one, one that wouldn't make ice-powered spellmasters want constantly want to murder her (apparently that happened often). Pixie told her where she, Fluffle, and Jay were going, and that if she came with them, she could wish for a new form. Gracie agreed and ventured on with them. Finally, they came across an Eagles named Eagles. Blah blah blah, he wanted to be vice director of some secret agency, blah blah blah, he went with them. Man, these stories are repetitive, how do people not get bored reading this crap?! Eventually, they ended up in front of a big cake-shaped castle that was guarded by a large army of plants and zombies. However, the plants and zombies were too busy trying to kill each other to notice them walk in. Inside, they found a gigantic penguin sitting on a throne. This was none other than the one and only Wizard of Tras. Behind the wizard was a large wall of Club Penguin party hats, which he explained he had stolen from Club Penguin's clothes shop. He was only missing one, and that was the Snow Beta Hat. Knowing that Charlie wore the Snow Beta Hat, he told the group that if they stole and brought the hat to him, he would grant their wishes. The group walked outside, angry at being ripped off as the wizard made a troll face behind their backs. Suddenly, a large army of red dragons eating cheese flew over and landed around them, forming a circle. Locy, leader of the dragons, walked over. "I see you've met my army of Pokos," she said to them. "I'm afraid that you're going to have to come with us." The Pokos seized the group and carried them all the way to Charlie's donut-shaped castle because pie. Charlie tied them all up and ordered Locy to pry the Marshmallow Man's hat off of Fluffle, but she couldn't either. Angry, Charlie stomped away, sulking. Suddenly, the Pokos came and untied them. They told them that they actually hated working for Charlie and that if they managed to defeat him, they would give them his hat. Charlie came back and before he could yell at the Pokos for untying the prisoners, Pixie, Gracie, Eagles, and Jay put together a slice of pie labled "MLP" on one side and "Harry Potter" on the other side with frosting. Pixie threw it into Charlie's mouth, killing him instantly. The Pokos took Charlie's hat and flew the group back to the Wizard of Tras' castle. Pixie presented the hat to the wizard, and in turn he revealed something- he used the magic of the snow queen Elsa to grant wishes because cheese. However, she was currently having a nervous breakdown and had accidentally killed her sister by freezing her. Instead, he gave Jay a stick, Gracie a mermaid tale, and Eagles a commander badge. He then threw Pixie and Fluffle through a portal, which carried them back to Club Penguin. Just then a lawyer representing The Wizard of Oz, Ghostbusters, and Frozen appeared and decided to sue everyone involved with this story, but Helmet got angry (his chalk shipment had been cancelled) and dumped him in the sea. The End. -Charlie the Penguin: Don't just do something, stand there! 17:53, June 9, 2014 (UTC) Category:Blog posts